Sunday, October 7, 2018

Breaking: Bashad al-Assad claims to have had Drunken Blackout with Justice Kavanaugh

Despite attempts to contact the FBI prior to the confirmation of now, Supreme Court Justice Brett Kavanaugh; Syrian President Bashar al-Assad claims he was rebuffed.  Apparently Bashar was a longtime drinking buddy of Brett.  The Syrian president admits he has a lengthy list of hilarious stories from the time he and the judge tipped back a few and blacked out together.  In an attempt to explain his love of 'beer' and the 'hard stuff' that often follows, Bashar (a life-long Muslim) blames not only the party-going Brett, but his English-born infidel wife Asma al-Assad.  Claiming it was these two, who were nothing more than tools of the devil, that lead him astray from the religion of peace---Islam!  In all fairness, it should be noted the Justice Kavanaugh denies these charges by the Syrian leader.  And in a strange twist, Dianne Feinstein has confirmed that Brett turned in his Syrian Visa prior to being nominated to the Supreme Court.

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